White House Unveils Lightly Edited Memorandum Of U.S. Constitution That Specifically Declares Trump’s Innocence


WASHINGTON—Seeking to exculpate the president from alleged wrongdoing, the White House released a lightly edited memorandum of the U.S. Constitution Wednesday that specifically declares Trump’s innocence. “[The President of the United States of America] shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, can talk to whatever foreign official he wants about any subject whenever he wants, consequence-free,” read the memo, which White House sources indicated did not include the full text of the nation’s founding document but offered a summation of its important points such as “Congress has the power to shut up and stay out of the President’s way.” “The President, Vice President, and all Civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors, assuming they are Democratic officials. This impeachment process shall not hold in the event that the president is a former real estate developer whose party controls the Senate…Make America Great Again! Trump 2020!” At press time, legal scholars had suggested that despite the edits, the memorandum contained over a dozen examples of the president breaking the law.

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