Skateboarding hacker poet pervert with drunk driving and burglary raps drops out of presidential race

Beto O’Rourke, the smarmy, smug, monied Texas junior who got rich on his wife’s inherited fortune, is out of the Democratic presidential race.

According to the left-wing, but unable-to-stifle-a-snark Texas Monthly:

We gather today to say a hearty RIP to the Beto O’Rourke political project, helmed by one Beto O’Rourke, who ran one of the most remarkable Senate campaigns and one of the most underwhelming presidential campaigns in modern American history—all in the space of about 31 months.

Late on a Friday afternoon, O’Rourke and his loved ones made the decision to pull the plug, releasing a Medium post explaining why. “Though it is difficult to accept, it is clear to me now that this campaign does not have the means to move forward successfully,” he wrote. “My service to the country will not be as a candidate or as the nominee.”

Which is probably good news for Democrats even as it’s less entertaining for us. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, see, has gone on record to say that Democratic presidential candidates need to stop acting like raving lunatics.


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