SEATTLE, WA—Tech giant Amazon has a new update for their voice-activated smart speaker, the Echo. Users can now integrate the voice of Ben Shapiro—along with Shapiro-based artificial intelligence—to automatically own your liberal relatives at Thanksgiving.
“We didn’t just want this to be a gimmicky enhancement that shouts out ‘facts don’t care about your feelings’ at random,” said project-leader Arnio Clemson. “We wanted it to be as if Shapiro was really there, inside your house, engaging your relatives on all of their logical fallacies.” Clemson says that the program—entitled “Auto-Shapiro”—even has advanced kosher programming for commenting on the foods being served and will regularly remind those it engages with that its wife is a doctor.
“With Auto-Shapiro, my liberal son-in-law starts in on his government-run health care nonsense and the tech just takes over from there. I just sit back, eat turkey, and enjoy the added saltiness of a few liberal tears to my meal,” said early product-tester Errol Remus.
While early testing has been mostly positive, Amazon has issued the warning to be careful if using the technology with any body-building trans relatives present. “We had a couple of people get choked out,” Clemson warned. “The little guy seems to really like to provoke transexuals. Just be careful.”
Amazon Echo with Auto-Shapiro integration is now available with free overnight prime shipping.