Finally, a Christian alternative to the wicked heresy of the “Cha Cha Slide”

Art and spirituality are uneasy bedfellows. We’ve seen it in film. We’ve seen it in rock music. We’ve seen it in hip-hop. We saw it this year in hip-hop. Still, that hasn’t stopped believers from relentlessly wedging Jesus into every single thing you have ever enjoyed. There’s Guitar Herobut with JesusScrabblebut with Jesus. Clowns, but with Jesus. And now, thanks to a recently unearthed video, we have the“Cha Cha Slide,” but with Jesus. And something called “spiritual milk.” Yeah, we don’t know, man.

A brief clip of the “Bible Slide” was shared last night by comedian Atsuko Okatsuka, but the original version—posted to YouTube back in 2012—unfolds across four excruciating minutes. A Chris Gethard-looking ringleader leads the charge, eschewing the original’s instructional lyrics for bone-chilling Christian idioms—“let’s win the lost” and “take his kingdom back now, y’all” are paired with rhythmic stomps on “principalities” and “bondage,” ensuring you’ll never be invited to another wedding again.

What does our community think? Do you find the “Bible Slide” farce as unnecessary and IQ draining as I do?

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