Motorola Razr returns with all of your middle school selfies pre-downloaded

CHICAGO, IL — Motorola recently announced the re-release of the once-ubiquitous Motorola Razr which will still be a sleek, pocket sized flip-phone, but this time with smartphone technology and all of your middle school selfies pre-downloaded.

“We wanted the nostalgia of the flip-phone as well as the excitement of seeing the hundreds, in some cases thousands, of selfies you took in your bathroom mirror,” stated Motorola CEO Greg Brown, who clearly doesn’t get it.

For years, Motorola has been looking for a way to merge smartphone technology with pictures from your adolescence, and they’ve finally done it. At no extra cost, the included images will highlight such sentimental torture as the time you experimented with a deep side part, not unlike the incumbent President of the United States. Other pictures feature your truly heinous orthodontia, and with the new HD photo rendering you can see every bracket, elastic, and old piece of corn in excruciating detail.

I’m Sorry, but I loved my RAZR. It was sleek and compact, did everything you would need, like take a simple picture, send a text and of course make a call. It also had the benefit of not being a giant lump in your pocket like my Samsung Note8 (which I am a HUGE fan of Notes – except the 7 which I didn’t own, but had an unfortunate tendency to burn a hole through your leg). Also, I was in my early 40’s and not in middle-school, LOL.

What do you think? One of the best phones or what? If you don’t think so… what was your favorite old phone.