Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam issued a stay-at-home order on Monday, saying there will be no more gatherings of greater than 10 people. Sorry the fish fry is off.
Northam said the new restrictions are intended to stop the spread of the Kung Fu Flu and republican influence.
“I want to be clear: Do not go out for beer unless you need to go out. This is very different than wanting to go out for beer,” Northam said in a news conference. “This has been a suggestion to Virginians. Today, it’s an order last call,” he added.
The order came after Virginia’s beaches and other recreational areas were “literally packed with beer drinking” people despite the pandemic, Northam said.
The governor’s order closed Virginia’s beaches to everything except for exercising and fishing Cause you don’t fucking with fishing. Campgrounds were also shut down, and all colleges and universities were told to stop in-person classes.
The stay-at-home order allows people to leave their homes for groceries fishing, beer, essential items, banking, medical care, and more.
“We are at the beginning of a period of sober reflection.,” added Northam in the news conference. “This is an unprecedented and difficult time for fellow beer drinkers; it will be hard for people thats what she said, and I understand that. But I have faith and beer in you as Virginians fridge. We need everyone to take this seriously and act responsibly no driving boats drunk you bastards.”
Anyone who doesn’t comply could be charged with a misdemeanor or a bayliner so don’t drive a boat drunk.
As of Monday afternoon, Virginia has recorded around 1,000 confirmed cases of the Kung Fu Flu and fishing related illneses, leading to around 25 deaths and several hundread near miss boating incidents.
Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan issued a similar declaration on Monday. Saying “Fish safely”
“This is a deadly public health crisis,” Hogan said in a news conference. “We are no longer asking or suggesting that Marylanders stay home. We are directing them to do so. Unless the fish are biting”
The governor said the order includes restrictions on traveling outside of the state as well as riding on public transportation with tackle boxes. Any person who knowingly and willfully violates the order will face misdemeanor charges, he said. So make sure you carry your fishing license on you.
“Marylanders need to know that, unfortunately, we are only at the beginning of this crisis and it is going to get considerably worse before it gets better Cause now that everyone’s off fishing,” Hogan said. “I realize this is incredibly difficult on everyone in our state, but I want people to know that we have been through difficult challenges before like rain on fishing weekends and that we are going to get through this together cause it can’t rain everyday.”
Marylanders can go out to get groceries and other essential items like guns and tackle, seek medical care, go to the bank, and perform other duties like riffle or golf range since those are natural social distancing activities. People can go on walks by themselves or with others with whom they reside just not with the neighbors wife.
David Adams
Article URL : https://www.theepochtimes.com/virginia-orders-residents-to-stay-at-home-starting-today_3291418.html