Trump Signs Police Reform Executive Order While Rubbing the Heads of Cops and Van Jones Thinks It’s a Good Thing

The best way to approach a Trump speech is the same way you eat a steak; you have to separate the meat from the bone or else you’re going to fuck up your teeth.

On Tuesday, President Trump gave a 25-minute speech about…I don’t know what in the hell he was talking about because whenever Donald Trump talks, he goes off track and it becomes impossibly hard to understand. I don’t want to blame this on him being old, but he was on some old-man rambling shit, and I just can’t with him. And I tried. I literally watched the whole 25 minutes in hopes of being able to bring you something of substance but this is what I’ve got:

  1. Mentions the names of some black people who’ve been killed by police.
  2. I love the cops.
  3. Cops are great people.
  4. Yes, there are some bad cops but that number’s really small and did I say I love cops?
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Just Trump loving on some cops.
  6. Oh, and the president thinks there is an AIDS vaccine

And then he finally shut the fuck up and signed the executive order that has about as many collective teeth as his supporters. The reform executive order doesn’t honestly reform shit; it’s a flimsy order that essentially pushes a nationwide “certification process for police departments,” including a set of “best practices” on the use of force. It will also include a nationwide database that will track excessive force complaints against individual officers and incentivize programs where social workers are sent out with officers during mental health calls, NBC News reports.

Most believe the reform bill is bullshit and completely unenforceable, because if the database isn’t mandated to be checked by law enforcement before hiring an officer then it’s just a Microsoft spreadsheet with names. And get this shit, police departments can decide whether or not they even want to participate in the lists.

Anytime I hear the office buzzword “best practices,” I fall asleep as that doesn’t mean anything. The only part of the order that appears hopeful is that social workers may accompany police on calls in which mental health is an issue, and hopefully, this will lead to a less aggressive approach by officers when dealing with people suffering with mental illness, but again departments are not required to participate.

In fact, many jammed onto social media to point out that this “police reform” executive order does nothing to stop police brutality and that building policy doesn’t stop anything if there aren’t any repercussions for those who violate policy. For example, there is already a policy within the New York Police Department that bans chokehold, yet there are no repercussions should an officer use a banned chokehold.

But you know who thought Trump’s police reform scam was a great move?

Van Jones.

Van Jones is a lot like Kanye West. At one point, Van Jones was a black man who stood up for black people, and then somewhere in the process or the election of Trump or somewhere, he morphed into this new Van Jones who is always on the wrong side of history.

Don’t let anyone fool you; this “reform” executive order isn’t worth the toilet paper it was written on because this is trash and Trump knows it, but don’t tell Van Jones this because he’ll get all sad.

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