THE BRONX, NY—Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was up all night last night studying for her Covid-19 test, which she took this morning. While her results won’t be in for approximately four days, Ocasio-Cortez is confident that she’ll receive at least a B minus.
“Literally you guys, I’ve been awake for like 30 hours right now,” she told viewers in a live stream, just before taking the test. “And look at this, I’m still hitting the books!” Ocasio-Cortez then held up a high school science book so all her fans could see how smart she is.
While Ocasio-Cortez stayed up all night studying for the test like a good student, most of the other people at CVS said they hadn’t studied at all. Ocasio-Cortez explained that most of the people at the pharmacy seemed to be conservatives, so it’s no wonder they didn’t study. “What we’re seeing here is a complete lack of effort from conservatives, and it’s embarrassing,” she explained.
“I’ve been up all night,” the freshman congresswoman tweeted at 5 a.m. “And I now know more about the Coronavirus than probably anyone on the planet. Did you know Covid-19 is literally the most dangerous disease of our time? Another fun fact: you don’t actually catch it from drinking Corona. I know. I tested it.”