Public Schools Now Preparing Kids For A Lifetime Of Soul-Crushing Zoom Meetings

U.S.—As parents across the country grow increasingly frustrated by their schools’ inept handling of remote classes and glitchy teleconference calls, some are choosing to look at the bright side. Several parents have pointed out that these horrible, ineffective, remote classes are preparing their children for the most important career skill of all: the ability to sit for endless hours in worthless corporate teleconference meetings.

“This is an essential skill I use literally every day,” said Jack Nelson, a local father of 4 school-age children. “About 98% of my workday is spent sitting through tiresome, useless, poorly run, soul-crushing, tedious, petty, miserable teleconference meetings… what was I saying? Oh yeah. My kids. It’s important to teach them early how to sit through meetings like this. Important skill.” Mr. Nelson barely finished his sentence before curling up in a ball on the floor and sobbing.

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