‘TINY HANDS’ TRUMP WELCOMED BACK TO MYSPACE

With the current leader of the free world indefinitely banned from the social media platform Twitter, Donald Trump has been forced to resurrect his 2006 MySpace account to maintain a platform for his philosophical ramblings.

Luckily the President was able to remember both his username (GoldenReign1946) and his password (HillaryFor2008), which were written in green crayon, on the back of his soon to be ex-wife’s, US Citizenship papers.

President Trump was said to be overjoyed at being reunited with his 854 MySpace friends, who mostly consist of members of the National Rifle Association in Roberts County, Texas and the Survivors of Equine Head Injuries clinic in Northampton County, Pennsylvania.

And it wasn’t long before the about to arrested President, whipped out his trusty Sony Ericsson K800 and was reading all the latest news on ‘High School Musical’, before writing his first blog post on how he let Daniel Craig take the role of James Bond.

“Great to have you back, Tiny Hands”, commented follower BillyFiveWivesTwoAreMyCousins1962 and was typical of the welcome received from fellow patrons, many of whom have webbed feet and six fingers.