In a landmark move being felt around the world, The Chuck E. Cheese Oversight Board has upheld the controversial January decision to ban Trump from using the ball pit.
“We need to be very clear– the world-famous Chuck E. Cheese ball pit is a privilege,” said CEO Charles Cheese Jr. “There is room in our ball pit for plenty of kids and colored balls, but there is no room for hate.”
After January 6th, several local managers expressed concern that Trump– who is a regular at the establishment– may try to tell all the kids in the ball pits that the election was rigged and inspire them to start an insurrection at the Capitol. This led to a nationwide ban on Trump or any of his staff from entering the ball pit.
“The losers at Chuck E. Cheese think I care about the ball pit!” Trump responded. “I don’t even care. It’s a lame place full of losers and their pizza is an absolute disaster. And one time the ski ball gipped my tickets even though I got a top score. Terrible place.”
Sources say Trump is now constructing his own ball pit in Mar-a-Lago.