CHAPPAQUA, NY—According to sources, former First Lady and skilled assassin Hillary Clinton is joining the Halloween festivities this year by dressing up as a real live president.
“I really wanted to show little girls everywhere that if you believe in yourself and kill a lot of people, you can be president of the United States someday,” she said, “…just like I was. I was the rightful president. I WAS THE RIGHTFUL PRESIDENT!” She then screamed and threw an open bottle of wine against the wall and made her servants pick it up.
