Trump Crowned MAGA King After Pulling Rittenhouse’s AR-15 From Stone

ANTIOCH, IL—Former President Donald J. Trump was crowned MAGA King shortly after pulling the legendary rifle of Kyle Rittenhouse from a stone. According to legend, the AR-15 rifle had been placed in the stone by Rittenhouse himself where it could lay dormant until a hero worthy of ruling America could pry it from its slumber.

A plaque at the base of the stone reads, “Whoso pulleth out the rifle from this stone, is right wise Ultra-MAGA King born of all America.”

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Trump Crowned MAGA King After Pulling Rittenhouse’s AR-15 From Stone
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