The brilliant OP ‘Atheism is religion for flat-Earthers’ and the ensuing discussion have really had a big impact on me. It is now clear to me that atheism is a dead-end. Science has had centuries to explain the origin of the universe, life and consciousness, and it still hasn’t really delivered, so we obviously have to accept the supernatural as the answer for these mysteries1. In the discussion I learned that since we cannot observe the supernatural, we gain knowledge about it through revelation. So, I opened my mind and waited for this knowledge to reveal itself. Lo and behold: during a black metal concert revelation struck! It was revealed to me with absolute clarity that the supernatural consists of three eternal, timeless, non-contingent and uncaused unicorns, each powerful in their own way. The first unicorn is known as Gapwan; whenever it farts, a universe comes into existence. Gapwan is as such the unmoved mover, the uncaused cause, or in short: the unfarted farter of universes. About 14 billion years ago Gapwan farted, and thereby put the rapid expansion of our observable universe into motion. The second unicorn is known as Gaptu; when it farts, life comes into existence in one of Gapwan’s universes. About 4 billion years ago Gaptu farted, and life emerged and then evolved on planet earth. Gaptu is the unfarted farter of life. And then we have Gaptry, the third eternal, timeless, non-contingent and uncaused unicorn. Gaptry is the unfarted farter of intelligent consciousness. About 300.000 years ago Gaptry farted over planet earth and intelligent consciousness arose in the members of a bipedal species in the family of great apes: Homo Sapiens emerged. Together the three unicorns are known as the Triunicorn of the Gapz. It wasn’t revealed why they fart or how often; we therefore don’t know how many universes Gapwan farted into being, or how many times Gaptu farted life into being in our universe. Maybe Gaptry farted more than once as well in our universe; so there could be alien intelligent life out there! One thing was revealed with great certainty though: the Triunicorn are far too busy farting and being all-round fabulous to be concerned with our (sex) lives.
Questions:
1. I find the Triunicorn far more plausible than the logically incoherent omnimax God concepts pushed by monotheistic religions2. What do you think?
2. Can you think any objection to the Triunicorn that isn’t at least equally applicable against an omnimax God?
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