As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts

ATLANTA, GA—According to a report, as part of the settlement with Nick Sandmann, CNN hosts will…

Carjacker on meth abducts man and his pet goat from Missouri adult store, cops say

A man was arrested in Oklahoma after carjacking a truck from outside an adult store in…

Castro’s Campaign Fails As Democrats Realize His First Name Isn’t Fidel

U.S.—Julian Castro was forced to pull out of the Democratic primaries after Democrats suddenly realized his…

Nation’s Christians Wish God Had Given Them Some Kind Of Unimpeachable, Incorruptible Leader To Follow

U.S.—The nation’s Christians are lamenting the fact that God never gave them a leader they could follow…

El Paso Man Comes Down From Insane Acid Trip Where He Hallucinated That He Ran For President

EL PASO, TX—An El Paso man reportedly came down from a “totally crazy” acid trip where…

Elizabeth Warren Opens Casino To Help Finance Campaign

U.S.—With campaign contributions down 30% in the last quarter, you might think it’s time for Elizabeth…