Author: Primus Pilus (Løki)

https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-employee-throws-down-staff-which-turns-into-snake-eating-popeyes-employees-serpents FRESNO, CA—In a meager attempt to establish his restaurant as the chicken-sandwich powerhouse, a Popeyes…

Your Leafy Lotus Elise Wallpapers Are Here

https://jalopnik.com/your-leafy-lotus-elise-wallpapers-are-here-1839759826 I’ve never owned a convertible, and the length of my legs means I’ll probably never…

Tips For Testifying Before Congress

https://politics.theonion.com/tips-for-testifying-before-congress-1839724614 Several recent high-profile investigations, from the ongoing impeachment inquiry to House probes into the actions…

Marine crayon eating competition goes horribly wrong

Løki

CHERRY POINT, N.C. — Catastrophe has consumed Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point after a Marine…

Schockierende Fotobeweise: Chemtrails verursachen Waldbrände! (Shocking photo proof: Chemtrails cause forest fires!)

https://www.der-postillon.com/2016/11/chemtrails-waldbraende.html Samstag, 9. November 2019 Berlin (Archive) – Climate Control, Population Reduction, Sky Degradation – Chemtrails…

Man In Critical Condition After Hearing Slightly Differing Viewpoint

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-in-critical-condition-after-hearing-slightly-differing-viewpoint GLENDALE, CA—A man was rushed to the hospital yesterday after encountering a slightly different viewpoint…

Religion

Catholic Priest Stuck In Remote Backwater Town Thinking About Molesting Kid Just To Get Transferred

https://local.theonion.com/catholic-priest-stuck-in-remote-backwater-town-thinking-1839652152 YELLOW SPRINGS, OH—In an attempt to extricate himself from the moribund lifestyle of his rural…

Hero dog declines White House invitation

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Trump administration announced this week Conan, the hero canine of the…

Trump Loses Christians’ Support After Failing To Properly Execute Sidehug

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-loses-evangelical-support-after-botching-sidehug WASHINGTON, D.C.—Christians’ support for President Trump has remained steadfast, despite one rocky patch when Trump…

Christians Face Clear Choice Between Party That’s A Hypocritical Mockery Of Their Faith And One That’s Openly Hostile To It

https://babylonbee.com/news/christians-face-clear-choice-between-party-thats-a-hypocritical-mockery-of-their-faith-versus-one-thats-openly-hostile-to-it U.S.—Christians voting their conscience have quite a choice this Election Day with the two major…

‘Oh Jesus, Now What?’ Says Exhausted Trump Turning On News To See What Bullshit Thing President Did Today

2019-10-31