US president Trump has issued a statement saying that Democratic Party nominee Joe Biden is only polling ahead of him…
Tag: The Beaverton
Businessman Trump masterfully convinces Putin to lower bounty on US soldiers by 2%
The US president has once again brought his considerable business acumen to bear on matters of…
Trump Hotels to change name after revelation founder had history of racism
NEW YORK CITY – Trump Hotels, a luxury line of hotel accommodations across the United States,…
Children forced to sit through online church service can’t even fantasize about going home
THE LIVING ROOM – As the Dobson family sits through a Zoom stream of their weekly church service, children Max,…
United States deploys troops to politically unstable nation of the United States
WASHINGTON, DC- The United States government announced today that it will send active duty troops to the chaos…
ANTIFA surprised to discover it is an organization
VARIOUS LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD – Following President Donald Trump’s announcement that the United States is designating ANTIFA as…
Little Free Library implements more comprehensive Covid-19 strategy than White House
Eugene, OR- Following mounting concern for public safety during the current pandemic, a local Little Free Library is…
Justice Department decides doing a crime that you did doesn’t mean you did the crime that you definitely did
The United States Department of Justice has withdrawn charges against Donald Trump’s former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. DOJ prosecutors…
Trump frankly disappointed more haven’t died yet
WASHINGTON D.C. — During his latest briefing on the deadly coronavirus pandemic, a frustrated President Trump admitted to reporters that…
Trump pretty sure Tide Pod Challenge will cure COVID-19
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After claiming that UV light and injecting disinfectant might cure the novel coronavirus,…
“We need to open up the economy and get back to work,” says COVID-19
FLORIDA – Thousands of protestors took to the streets in the United States this past weekend to…
Trump ensures America’s stimulus checks will bounce by writing his name on them
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a rare display of business acumen, Donald Trump is saving the United States approximately $290…