Local Woman Moves ‘Trump Supporter’ Ahead of ‘Christian’ and ‘Mother’ in Twitter Bio

Twitter user Shannon Nichols updated her profile bio today, moving “Trump Supporter” ahead of her other…

White House Chef Excited to Change Menu from Corn Dogs and Funyuns

White House kitchen staff are reportedly elated by the prospect of cooking “real food” for President-elect…

Trump Sneaks His Own Name into This Year’s Turkey Pardoning Ceremony

Onlookers at the traditional Thanksgiving White House turkey pardoning ceremony were left unsurprised today after President…

Where Are They Now? All the Whiny Ass MAGA Bitches That Used To Clog My Newsfeed

It seems like just yesterday those Trump-loving, dumbass crybaby MAGA bitches were clogging up my Facebook…

Opinion: Biden Can Kiss My Fat Ass if He Thinks He Can Tax the $400,000 I Don’t Have Yet

Fuck Joe Biden. Plain and simple. Who does that commie bastard think he is trying to…

Trump Asks Supreme Court to Stop Counting Coronavirus Deaths While They’re At It

Sitting President Donald Trump approached the highest court in the United States to demand that votes…

Melania Trump Caught Stuffing Florida Ballot Box With Votes for Biden

First Lady Melania Trump was apprehended by Florida election officials this morning after being caught furiously…

Well-Regulated Militia Misses Election After Getting Lost in Corn Maze for Three Days

A far-right militia completely failed in their mission to remain vigilant on election day after the…

Coronavirus Looking Forward to Another Four Years

The coronavirus, the cause of a worldwide pandemic that has killed over one million people thus…

White Power March the Most Walking Militiaman Has Ever Done

Far-right protesters who descended on the Michigan Capitol today arrived several hours later than scheduled, due…

Desperate Trump Not Sure if Threatening to Release Pee Tape Will Help or Hurt His Chances

A panicked President Trump is debating whether releasing his infamous “pee tape” would help or hurt…

QAnon Supporter Wishes President Would Get Off Twitter and Focus on Hunting Democratic Pedophile Satanists

Local QAnon follower and noted conspiracy theorist Nick Perriman complained to friends today that President Trump…