Urging his supporters to act now before it was too late, Donald Trump’s 2024 presidential campaign…
Tag: The Onion
Alabama supreme court rules that frozen burritos are children
In a case aimed at preserving what plaintiffs described as the sanctity of reheatable Tex-Mex fare,…
Everything We Learned From Tucker Carlson’s Vladimir Putin Interview
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson recently interviewed Russian President Vladimir Putin for over two hours,…
Politicians Explain Why They Know More About Abortions Than Doctors
Many politicians seem to believe they know enough about medicine to determine whether certain procedures are…
Biden Urges Americans Not To Let Dangerous Online Rhetoric Humanize Palestinians
Upon returning from his brief diplomatic trip to the Middle East, President Joe Biden urged the…
Fire Department Installs No-Questions-Asked Baby Furnace Outside Station
Offering an alternative for parents in the community who, for whatever reason, feel they cannot currently…
Lauren Boebert Offers To Personally Jerk Off Any Constituents She Offended
In an effort to address voters hurt by recent actions that resulted in her being thrown…
Biden warns Zelensky if he can’t win war, U.S. will overthrow him with someone who will
Telling his counterpart that he was losing patience with the stalled counteroffensive, President Joe Biden reportedly…
Man who said N-word standing near guitar reaches top of Country Billboard charts
Having become an overnight sensation after he was seen in a video uttering the racist term…
Republicans explain what white nationalism means to them
In an effort to gain insight into the radical ideology, The Onion asked Republicans to explain what white…
Marjorie Taylor Greene presents own tasteful boudoir pictures in congress to contrast with Hunter Biden’s un-American smut
Proudly brandishing the enormous poster board for all to see, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) reportedly…
Feds Wistfully Gaze At Photo Of Hunter Biden’s Penis One Last Time Before Closing Investigation
Eyes welling up with tears as their time together came to an end, federal agents reportedly…