On Tuesday, Seattle man Zach McGuire was arrested for possession of a plastic bag. McGuire was brazenly using the bag in broad daylight to carry his roughly eight pounds of heroin.
Because Seattleites know plastic bags pose the largest threat to their beautiful city, concerned citizens, including several drug dealers, called the police immediately.
“What was that guy thinking?” asked prominent dealer Emerald Ice. “That’s just irresponsible. That guy needs to take a long look at his life, his decisions, and how they impact others,” Ice concluded.
