WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite fighting an ongoing war with Russia, acting U.S. President Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy appeared to be in high spirits as he dropped by the White House to pick up his most recent paycheck.
Though it required him to take valuable time away from campaigning on behalf of U.S. politicians, Zelenskyy was eager to stop by the Oval Office to personally receive his paycheck from his underling, Joe Biden.
“I love money,” Zelenskyy told members of the White House Press Corpse as he picked up his check with a sly wink.
When asked why he doesn’t use direct deposit, Zelenskyy said he feels nostalgic about picking up a check in person. “There’s nothing quite like holding a check for a couple billion dollars in your hand,” he said.
In recent weeks, Zelenskyy had been quite busy on the campaign trail, making the case to voters why they should give him a second term as the Commander-in-Chief of the U.S. Armed Forces. Reports indicated he had traveled all over — flying from Ukraine to Pennsylvania to New York and back again. But he was sure to make time to swing by Washington, D.C. to get paid.
“Thanks, Joe!” he said, waving goodbye to the official White House Payroll Clerk as he left for another whirlwind trip to Ukraine.
At publishing time, Zelenskyy had reportedly asked for a pay raise. “It’s tough when you live paycheck to paycheck,” he said. “Bombs are expensive.”