Mar-a-Lago, Billund (dpo) – Donald Trump has barely claimed Greenland for the USA when he is already shocking Denmark with his next demand: The designated US President announced today that he also wants to see Legoland annexed to the USA – if necessary by military means.
“They are tiny people, nobody knows where they come from,” Trump said at a press conference at his Florida estate. “But they are certainly not Danish, I can tell you that. We as the United States will ensure that they are safe and can live in freedom.”
Legoland has been exporting goods to the USA for decades without importing American products to the same extent. “They are in every American child’s room and we don’t see a cent of it. It’s a scandal. We’re being completely ripped off.”
It is also essential for national security that Legoland becomes American. “Strategically, we must, must, must own Legoland!” Trump declared. “If Playmobil attacks, where do you think they will strike first? It’s simply a necessity and we will make sure it happens.”
Meanwhile, Trump’s son Donald Trump Jr. has arrived at Legoland in Billund, Denmark, to personally promote annexation to the USA. According to witnesses, however, the charm offensive has not been particularly successful so far, after Trump Jr. trampled on several buildings and vomited after eating miniature plastic food.
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