Governor Tim Walz took decisive action to back up his aggressive rhetoric against federal immigration operations in his state by calling in the Somali Armed Forces to assist in the fight against ICE.
“They’re the most potent fighting force at my disposal,” Walz told the media. “As a former football coach, I am uniquely qualified to lead a strategic ground war against the federal government, which is why I’ve called in armed combatants from war-torn Somalia to take the fight to ICE.”
Walz ended his remarks by assuring the public that Minnesota would not fail in its mission because of his close ties to the most elite Somali military task forces.
In support of the governor, Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey added, “We are ready to sacrifice our souls, our children, and our families to keep up our fraud. For Minnesota and Allah.”