LEXINGTON, KY — Children of devout congregants are in for a treat later this month as a local church announced it would host a fun “Jan 6”-themed edition of Vacation Bible School this summer.
“Stage an ‘insurrection’ for Jesus this year!” said VBS coordinator Stacy Jenkins. “On the morning of the first day, every child will receive a red MAGA baseball cap and a small American flag to wave as they gather outside the church building. From there, the doors will be opened and the kids will be welcomed and waved in by VBS volunteers dressed as U.S. Capitol Police officers!”
Children of Abundant River Church are eager to spend the week engaging in seditious behavior. “It’s going to be so much fun!” said fourth-grader Daniel Langford. “I heard there will be grown-ups posing as kids outside the church riling up the crowd and urging all the kids to enter the building. And once we get inside, we’ll get to calmly stroll through the halls of the church, pose for selfies…
At publishing time, Jenkins confirmed that children caught misbehaving at VBS would be placed in solitary confinement without any due process, just like the real Jan 6 protesters.