To keep up with popular consumer trends and make products more appealing to the company’s customer base, Subaru announced that all models will now come standard with a built-in ICE tracker.
The new feature comes as an increasing number of loyal Subaru customers have taken it upon themselves to track down, hunt down, run down, and mow down federal immigration agents, with a company spokesperson saying stalking and driving aggressively at ICE will be easier than ever.
A video demonstration of the new feature confirmed its effectiveness. “ICE agent located,” an automated voice said over a Crosstrek’s sound system. “Turn left. Continue for one-half mile. Turn right. ICE agent in sight. Move forward. Drive, baby. Drive.” The video concluded with the vehicle striking a cardboard cut-out of an ICE agent, drawing applause from the audience.
Obey
Article URL : https://babylonbee.com/news/subarus-now-come-with-built-in-ice-tracker