JD Vance unable to discern booing at Winter Olympics from booing every other day of his life

MILAN, ITALY – United States Vice President was reportedly unaware of being booed during the Milano Cortina 2026 opening ceremonies, due to the fact that he is already relentlessly booed nearly 24 hours a day. “No, I didn’t notice anything different, why do you ask,” responded VP Vance as thousands of otherwise-festive athletes, Olympians, and dignitaries loudly jeered him to his face. While the crowds’ displeasure echoed through San Siro stadium during the parade of participating countries, sources report that Vance has grown so accustomed to being vocally derided by strangers that he couldn’t tell the difference.