At the urging of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, Yoko Ono has agreed to sing, to keep residents off of city streets.
Governor Cuomo stated “Yoko will be used strategically wherever and whenever a crowd forms. Just today we deployed Ms. Ono to Crown Heights, Brooklyn, where a wedding was taking place. There were 300 guests congregating and within 3 minutes, the streets were completely empty. It was a sight to see, those people were running through the streets and jumping out of windows to escape the horrific screeching.”
No one will know where or when Yoko will pop up and begin her screaming and caterwauling. For extreme cases, Yoko will perform her latest single, “Ear Splitter”. “I call that song the ‘H’ bomb”, said Cuomo. “It’s actually a little cruel, but extreme times call for extreme measures.”
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