AOC Pulls An All-Nighter Studying For Covid Test

THE BRONX, NY—Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was up all night last night studying for her Covid-19…

Nick Cannon Quits ‘Masked Singer’: ‘I Need To See A Person’s Skin Color Before I Pass Judgment’

U.S.—Nick Cannon has stepped down from his position as host of The Masked Singer, saying he doesn’t…

Complete Moron Doesn’t Realize Social Justice Activists Changed The Definition Of Every Word Last Week

BILOXI, MS—Really smart experts everywhere are pulling their hair out with frustration due to thousands of…

Pelosi Goes on Drunken Rant, Claims ‘Republicans Rigged the Election’

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was drunk yet again in the nation’s Capitol yesterday evening.…

Op-Ed: Anyone Who Claims Cancel Culture Is Real Is A Bigot Who Should Lose His Job

There is a blight on this country, and it is right-wingers slandering progressives by claiming that…

With Statues Gone, Pigeons Forced To Poop On Rioters

U.S.—With more and more statues across the country being pulled down, pigeons are being forced to…

Huffington Post Criticizes Reality For Not Having As Many LGBTQ People As Netflix Shows

U.S.—”Reality is canceled,” proclaimed a recent Huffington Post article, stating that the real world is officially…

Powerful: Protesters Spell Out ‘Love’ With Burning Homes And Businesses

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—In a powerful display of their care for love and justice, protesters in Minneapolis burned…

To Save Time, The Babylon Bee Will Now Just Republish Everything Biden Says Verbatim

The Bible tells us to work smarter, not harder. Or, better yet, don’t work at all…

Condo developers seek help from Marginalized Community on where to gentrify next

VANCOUVER – In order to address the ongoing housing crisis, condo developers have reached out to marginalized communities in…