Lord have mercy, what is happening in Georgia? We do not even know, so we’re going to google Jeeves and make a list together.
First of all.
Georgia’s Republican Governor Brian Kemp says fuck you to people asking for a newly created commission to impeach Fulton County DA Fani Willis or defund Fani Willis or stand in front of Fani Willis real close to her face and say “Not touching, can’t get mad” over and over again until she agrees to drop all charges. Kemp signed a law creating the commission back in May, which pretty much everybody understood was intended to make it easier to go after progressive prosecutors. But now he’s really abandoned his role in Sparkle Motion, saying, “I have not seen any evidence that DA Willis’s actions or lack thereof warrant action by the prosecuting attorney oversight commission.”
Kemp seems especially not into all the redneck fol-de-rol from state Senator Colton Moore, the one who is concern-trolling about how if we do not stop prosecuting Donald Trump, there’s gonna be a civil war. Kemp says we will not be engaging in that kind of “political theater.”
Now about that Colton Moore. Y’all, when there is some bumpkin warning of civil war, why do they always look like their momma is still labeling their big underpants so they know which side is up, and like they cut their own hair and style their own beard in the dark using only their hands and their personal inner demons?
Y’all, look at him. He’s sayin’ there’s gonna be a civil war. Look at hiiiiiiiiim.
Y’allllllllllllll. Somebody put their Oshkosh B’Goshes on a little bit too tight that morning. Look at hiiiiiiim.
“I don’t want to have to draw my rifle,” he warbled. Oh my God, as if him drawing his rifle would be tantamount to a civil war. Jesus Lord in heaven. Who does he think is going to be fighting in the streets when Donald Trump goes to trial? Something a few tanks driving through their neighborhoods for an afternoon couldn’t take care of? Fuck.
Why do they always look like this? Y’all.