U.S. — Democrats have officially begun to panic as, against all odds, President Joe Biden is still not dead.
As polls persistently show Trump leading President Biden in both the popular vote and electoral college, Democrats have become increasingly anxious that Biden may survive to November. “He was supposed to bite the dust months ago,” sighed top Democratic political operative Dan Scarborough. “Everything has gone perfectly to plan these last four years. Biden wins from his basement, then his body begins shutting down right on schedule… but the guy just won’t die. It’s looking dire.”
In lieu of Biden dying, Democrats hoped he could be reasoned with to make way for a stronger candidate. “We tried to tell Joe that he’s done great and it’s time to move on, but he won’t budge,” said Democratic strategist Lisa Hanes. “He just laughs, grabs another vanilla cone, and starts arguing with the ghost of Lyndon Johnson. We may have gotten more than we bargained for nominating a dementia patient.”
R&I~smit
DarkGoldenMan
Article URL : https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-begin-to-panic-as-biden-not-dead-yet