New chart proves: Trump assassination attempt not as close as previously thought

Until now, it was assumed that Donald Trump was only a few millimeters away from certain death in the failed assassination attempt on him. But a new analysis of the available records now proves that the outcome of the assassination attempt was never as close as previously assumed.

“It was said that only the twisting motion just before the assassin fired the shot prevented Trump from being hit by a bullet that entered his skull and fatally injured his brain,” explains forensic scientist Kyle Figueroa. “But in fact, he would have gotten off lightly even without this motion, as a new diagram adapted to Donald Trump’s actual anatomy shows.”

Although the hit would probably have been considerably more painful without the accidental twisting motion, the Republican would still most likely have survived in this case, as no vital organs would have been damaged. According to the diagram, the brain would have been undamaged either way.

Despite the small target, it was still wise for the shooter to aim for the head, as a shot at the torso would have been doomed to failure due to Trump’s heartlessness.