GM Ups Ante In SUV Race With New 14-Seat, 11-Door, 7-Wheel, 4-Trunk Chevy Teton

DETROIT—In an effort to maintain their lead in the increasingly competitive heavy-duty sport utility vehicle market,…

Experts Concerned Pale Russian Mystic Constantly At Trump’s Side May Attempt To Influence 2020 Election

WASHINGTON—Increasingly troubled about the role the self-proclaimed visionary and healer might play in the presidential race,…

Roger Stone sentenced to wait several days for presidential pardon

WASHINGTON, DC – After being found guilty of seven counts of lying to Congress, obstruction and…

Bloomberg Editorial Board Endorses Mike Bloomberg

NEW YORK, NY—The Bloomberg News Editorial Board has endorsed Mike Bloomberg for president. While other publications…

Panicking Aides Finally Locate Biden At Wrong Venue Following Cirque Du Soleil Performers Onstage

LAS VEGAS—After frantically searching for the former vice president in the hours leading up to Wednesday…

You Get a Pardon! And You Get a Pardon! Career Criminal Donald Trump Passes Out Get Out of Jail Free Cards to Disgraced Gov. Rod Blagojevich, Others

There are some words and phrases in the English language that are open to interpretation, while…

Overwhelmed Archaeologists Struggling To Keep Pace With Glut Of Early Humans Thawed Out By Climate Change

OXFORD, ENGLAND—Noting that the steady rise in global temperatures was beginning to have a significant impact…

Boy Scouts Leadership Confident Organization Can Overcome Stigma Of Bankruptcy

IRVING, TX—Stressing that the century-old youth organization wasn’t going anywhere despite its recent Chapter 11 filing,…

More Evidence Jesus Was A Socialist: New Passages Say He Fed The 5000 By Robbing A Nearby Village

ISRAEL—Many have argued that Jesus is a socialist, and some newly discovered scrolls have added evidence…

Medal of Honor Monday: Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Owen Hammerberg

Most Medal of Honor recipients earned the award during combat, but that’s not the case for…