Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle resigned this morning, after miserably failing to assassinate Donald Trump. “I’m…
Author: Primus Pilus (Løki)
Es gibt keine Gnade in diesem Dojo!
JD Vance vows to represent fellow ‘losers’ and ‘suckers’ in White House
Former Cpl. promises to be a uniter, insufferable prick Rising from behind a podium and wiping…
UNPRECEDENTED: Aging boomer retires to free up job for someone younger
In a move that has shocked employees around the world, Joe Biden announced today that he would be…
New chart proves: Trump assassination attempt not as close as previously thought
Until now, it was assumed that Donald Trump was only a few millimeters away from certain…
RNC Ends on High Note as Ghost of Jeffrey Epstein Endorses Trump
Attendees at the Republican National Convention gave a thunderous ovation to the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein…
JD Vance once worried Trump was ‘America’s Hitler’. Now his own authoritarian leanings come into view
JD Vance once feared Donald Trump might be “America’s Hitler”. Last Saturday, the Ohio senator claimed Democrats calling Trump “an authoritarian…
Satan Declines to Buy J.D. Vance’s Soul
Sen. J.D. Vance attempted to sell his soul to the Devil “multiple times” but Satan declined…
Report Finds Just Giving In And Going To Church Would Solve All Your Problems
Making the case that the time had come to abandon your godless life of unbelief, a…
Study says VA unable to provide veterans relief that drugs and alcohol can
“One veteran even mentioned that his local bartender has never once put him on hold.” A…
Trump Requires Running Mate to Also be Cellmate
A campaign aide confirmed on Thursday that every candidate who wants to be Donald J. Trump’s…
Trump Screens VP Candidates for any Worrisome Signs of Self-esteem
Now in the final stages of choosing a running mate, Donald J. Trump is screening potential…
A Day In The Life Of Steve Bannon In Federal Prison
On July 1, Steve Bannon reported to federal prison to serve a four-month sentence for acting…