Church Drummers To Play 70-Minute Solos In Honor Of Neil Peart This Sunday

WORLD—Church drummers all over the world have announced their plans to play 70-minute solos during their services…

Archaeologists Discover King David’s ‘Make Israel Great Again’ Hat

ISRAEL—Archaeologists claim to have found King David’s “Make Israel Great Again” hat. Scholars believe King David…

Construction worker/amateur military analyst urges US turn Iran into a ‘goddamned parking lot’

SHIREMANSTOWN, PA — Amateur national security analyst James Sweeney has some ideas on how the United…

Britain resumes tradition of sending outcasts to the colonies

LONDON – British Parliament has passed a law that will resume the practice of sending its…

Somber Impeachment Ceremony Concludes With The Impeachment Dancers

WASHINGTON, D.C.—It was a somber day for the U.S., as House Democrats formalized the impeachment of…

Warren Rejects Peace Pipe Offered By Sanders

DES MOINES, IA—There’s drama afoot in the Democratic primary. Wanting to bury the tomahawk, presidential candidate…

New Study Confirms The Bible Supports Your Political Views Entirely

U.S.—A new study performed by LifeWay Research found that the Bible supports your political views entirely.…

Face of Defense: To the Moon … And Beyond!

Marine Corps Maj. Jasmin Moghbeli isn’t the first female active-duty Marine officer to pass the NASA…

Pope Leaps Out Of Shrubbery To Slap Catholic Woman Who’s About To Tell Someone About Her Faith

GREENSBURY, AZ—Local Catholic woman Gabriella Perez was getting ready to tell her friend about her Catholic…

Jim Bakker: ‘Many On The Last Day Will Cry Out, ‘Lord, Lord!’ But He Will Reply, ‘Depart From Me, You Didn’t Vote For Trump”

U.S.—On a new episode of The Jim Bakker Show, televangelist Jim Bakker proclaimed that on the Last…