Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Donald Trump’s pick to lead the Department of Health and Human Services, has faced scrutiny over his claims on vaccines, fluoride, nutrition, and more. The Onion fact-checks Kennedy on health.
Claim: Fluoride is a “toxic pollutant” and “industrial waste” that should be taken out of public drinking water.
False: Water fluoridation is a completely safe way to turn the population gay.
Claim: Raw milk is good for you.
False: We’re pretty sure he’s thinking of yogurt.
Claim: Direct-to-consumer advertising for pharmaceuticals is harmful.
False: For many Americans, these ads are the only opportunity they have to watch a woman sea kayak with her husband.
Claim: RFK Jr.’s health claims have proven to increase lifespans.
True: However, it is easy to beat the average Kennedy lifespan.
Claim: Lobbyists need to be removed from the healthcare process.
True: But good luck with that, big guy.
Claim: Antidepressants cause mass shootings.
Unverified: No one will ever know what causes mass shootings, so there’s no point in even thinking about them.
Claim: Chinese citizens are far less susceptible to Covid-19 than Americans.
Partially true: With RFK Jr. in charge, pretty much everyone will be healthier than Americans.
