In his latest major appointment, on Thursday Donald J. Trump nominated a new chief of the…
Tag: The Borowitz Report
U.S. Releases Strategic Alcohol Reserve Before Election Night
Responding to “a situation of utmost urgency,” President Biden released the nation’s Strategic Alcohol Reserve just…
Trump Enraged After RFK Jr’s Worm Endorses Harris
Donald J. Trump was reportedly furious on Monday after the worm who inhabited Robert F. Kennedy,…
Trump in Race Against Time to Alienate Remaining Minority Groups
With just four days until the election, Donald J. Trump is running out of time to…
Vance Bops to Music for 9 Hours to Prove He Could Assume Trump’s Duties
JD Vance bopped to music for nine hours at a rally on Thursday in an attempt…
Trump’s Chinese Bibles Taking Jobs away from American Bibles
News that Donald J. Trump’s $60 Bibles were printed in China has infuriated American Bibles, who…
Elon Musk Presides Over Yet Another Failed Launch
In what experts are calling his most embarrassing implosion ever, Tesla CEO Elon Musk presided over…
Trump Says He Will Be Too Senile to Debate in Late October
Explaining his claim that a second debate with Kamala Harris would be “too late,” Donald J.…
Staff of Nude Africa Porn Site Quit to Distance Selves from Mark Robinson
In an official statement released on Tuesday, the entire staff of the pornographic website Nude Africa…
JD Vance Responds to Mark Robinson News by Clearing his Search History
In the wake of Thursday’s explosive revelations about North Carolina gubernatorial nominee Mark Robinson, JD Vance…
Marjorie Taylor Greene Calls Vance Unhinged
Revealing a major schism within the Republican Party, on Thursday Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene lambasted Sen.…
JD Vance Says Labor Day Should Celebrate Women who go Through Labor
JD Vance stirred controversy on Monday by suggesting that Labor Day be a celebration of “women…