A nationwide search has begun to locate even one person who voted for Elon Musk, the…
Tag: The Borowitz Report
Tariff on Chinese Goods Hikes Price of Trump Bible to $1000
Mar-a-Lago descended into crisis on Wednesday after the proposed tariff on Chinese goods sent the price…
Trump Blasts Biden for Issuing Pardon Without Being Paid For It
In a series of scathing Truth Social posts on Tuesday, Donald J. Trump lambasted President Biden…
Pete Hegseth Claims He Never Met His Mother
Desperate to save his nomination as Secretary of Defense, on Monday Pete Hegseth claimed that he…
Trump Nominates Head of CIA
In his latest major appointment, on Thursday Donald J. Trump nominated a new chief of the…
U.S. Releases Strategic Alcohol Reserve Before Election Night
Responding to “a situation of utmost urgency,” President Biden released the nation’s Strategic Alcohol Reserve just…
Trump Enraged After RFK Jr’s Worm Endorses Harris
Donald J. Trump was reportedly furious on Monday after the worm who inhabited Robert F. Kennedy,…
Trump in Race Against Time to Alienate Remaining Minority Groups
With just four days until the election, Donald J. Trump is running out of time to…
Vance Bops to Music for 9 Hours to Prove He Could Assume Trump’s Duties
JD Vance bopped to music for nine hours at a rally on Thursday in an attempt…
Trump’s Chinese Bibles Taking Jobs away from American Bibles
News that Donald J. Trump’s $60 Bibles were printed in China has infuriated American Bibles, who…
Elon Musk Presides Over Yet Another Failed Launch
In what experts are calling his most embarrassing implosion ever, Tesla CEO Elon Musk presided over…
Trump Says He Will Be Too Senile to Debate in Late October
Explaining his claim that a second debate with Kamala Harris would be “too late,” Donald J.…