The government of Greenland announced on Wednesday that it had begun construction in its northernmost region…
Tag: The Borowitz Report
Somalis Express No Interest in Immigrating to Country with Shithole President
A new poll released on Thursday reveals that a broad majority of Somalis have “no interest”…
Trump Boasts That International Criminal Court in The Hague Has Invited Him to Receive Award
Calling it “maybe the greatest honor in the world, quite frankly,” Donald J. Trump said on…
Trump Refuses to Pardon Turkey After it Fails to Bribe Him
Breaking with a longstanding Thanksgiving tradition, on Monday Donald J. Trump refused to pardon the White…
Melania Increases Tariffs on Canada to 10,000% to Retaliate for Katy Perry Dating Justin Trudeau
In a move that has further imperiled relations between the US and its northern neighbor, on…
Prince Andrew Announces He Will Move to America Where Government Protects Pedophiles
On Friday Prince Andrew announced that he was moving to America, hailing it as “a country…
Mike Johnson Accuses No Kings Protesters of Blatantly Exercising First Amendment Rights
In a blistering comment on Friday, House Speaker Mike Johnson accused participants in Saturday’s No Kings…
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
As the government shutdown drags on into its thirteenth day, Americans have become baffled as to…
Trump Rallies Angry Supporters Outside Nobel HQ in Oslo
After promising on Truth Social that the gathering would be “wild,” on Friday Donald J. Trump…
String of Correctly Spelled Texts from Trump Fuels Speculation That he is Dead
A string of correctly spelled texts supposedly written by Donald J. Trump during an interview with…
Nobel Peace Prize Committee Asks Trump to Clarify Remarks About Hating His Enemies
The committee considering applications for the Nobel Peace Prize has asked Donald J. Trump for “clarification”…