Trade Wars Service Medal delayed by China tariffs

“The supplier increased the cost by 145%.” Tariffs on products from China have halted Department of…

Pentagon removes 54th Massachusetts from Army records as ‘DEI hires’

“Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?” As part of…

Jeff and Tina: Hey, uh, what in the fuck?

All we asked for was 80% compliance. The following is an op-ed by Jeff and Tina,…

TRANSCOM renamed PENISORVAGINACOM to comply with Presidential Directives

“It’s super awkward to put on my LinkedIn profile,” said Gen. Randall Reed, the commander. Following…

Pentagon offers Black recruits exciting opportunities as cooks, truck drivers

““All the DEI nonsense muddied the waters of where Black merit traditionally lies in the military,”…

Satan growing concerned he overpaid for JD Vance’s soul

“I guess I thought there was more humanity to unravel with J.D.” Following Vice President JD…

Suspicious OPM email ignored by entire government thanks to cyber awareness training

“Thank you, Jeff! Thank you, Tina! Your service is not forgotten.” Cybersecurity experts across the country…

Mike Flynn appointed Special Envoy to the region between Putin’s ass cheeks

Senior defense officials say Flynn is an accomplished expert on the international enclave. The White House…

The pros and cons of a Russian propagandist serving as Director of National Intelligence

Pro: This will own the libs, so hard After the recent confirmation of former congresswoman, cult member, opinion…

Trump nominates Giant Floating Pile of Trash to lead Coast Guard

Upon confirmation, Giant Floating Pile of Trash will replace relieved commandant Adm. Linda Fagan.  President Donald…

Elon Musk appoints Donald Trump as Commander-in-Chief

Musk emphasized that Trump’s leadership would bring “business savvy” to future military operations. Tesla founder Elon…

‘I’m not a perfect person’ says Hegseth, who is not even a sort of ok person

Pete Hegseth began his confirmation hearing this week for Defense Secretary with effusive support from Senators…