You are all morons! Get a clue!
I was minding my own business, dredging the depths of BNR, when Roam SPOKE TO ME. Well, actually wrote to me, but what’s the difference. Roam called me a moron, and revealed to me that Worshipping Roam is the only way to eternal happiness. Roam revealed to me that the name of the church is to be the “Church of the lunar sun” and that we are to be called “Lunies” for short.
As Lunie #1 I, Dan T, have been granted considerable latitude in fleshing out Lunie doctrine. [Roam is taking a nap.] It’s quite simple, really.
- Just as Roam revealed to me that I am a moron, I tell you that you are all morons as well.
- Because you are all morons, you cannot be trusted to think for yourselves.
- For reasons we may discuss later–but in short, because I am the earthly prophet of the Lunies–you are henceforth to Leave the thinking to me.
So this is really quite a lot simpler than most religions: No ten commandments, no eightfold path, no twelve steps. Just one belief: You are a moron. Just one Proverb: Get a clue! Just one commandment: Leave the thinking to me.
As the Lunie prophet, I offer you my services. Have a question about anything at all? Ask me. Remember: You are a moron and therefore should not, under any circumstances, attempt to think things through yourself. Just ask me. I’ll tell you what to think.
What do you want to know?