A new LifeWay Research study released Wednesday confirmed that over 92% of Christians get all of their theology from cliches on bumper stickers.
The study found that most theological ideas held by American Christians are just cutesy sayings they saw on a bumper sticker one time. Researchers believe rather than reading books, listening to good sermons, and seeing what the Bible has to say, most believers now just read bumper stickers, nod, and say, “Yeah, that sounds pretty good.”
“Whatever simplistic platitudes they happen to see on bumper stickers, Christian coffee mugs, and inspirational posters make up pretty much the entire American Christian theological diet,” study lead Jim Gardner said further stating that many Christians felt “good or very good” about their theology diet after reading a bumper sticker or two every day. “Yeah, Christians don’t study theology anymore. They read a bumper sticker and immediately believe it as gospel truth.”
Favorite doctrines of American Christians included the following:
- Cleanliness is next to godliness
- If it ain’t King James, it ain’t Bible
- Jesus saves – everyone else rolls for damage
- Love the casserole, hate the calories
- God helps those who help themselves
- God won’t give you more than you can handle
- When God locks you in the trunk, he at least gives you a snorkel
- Christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship
- God answers knee-mail
- Hipster Jesus loved you before you were cool
- Son-screen prevents sin-burn
At publishing time, LifeWay study representatives had confirmed that “Don’t drive faster than your guardian angel can fly” was voted the favorite Bible verse of American Christians.
I just love the little insipid christian bumper stickers, don’t you? I especially like them when used as advertising (pandering), on small business vehicles, store marquees and brochures… It lets me immediately know who not to trust with my money.