SPLC Adds ‘Die Hard’ Christmas Movie Denial To List Of Extremist Hate Ideologies

https://babylonbee.com/news/splc-adds-die-hard-christmas-movie-denial-to-list-of-extremist-hate-ideologies MONTOGOMERY, AL—The Southern Poverty Law Center has added the denial of Die Hard being a…

‘My Mom Said You Guys Have To Let Me Play,’ Defiant Colin Kaepernick Tells Kids Playing Flag Football At Park

https://babylonbee.com/news/my-mom-said-you-guys-have-to-let-me-play-defiant-colin-kaepernick-tells-kids-playing-flag-football-at-park RIVERDALE, GA—Shortly after his workout video plan failed, free agent Colin Kaepernick took a walk…

Bombshell Testimony Reveals Some People Do Not Like President Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Bombshell testimony on Capitol Hill today revealed a shocking truth: that some people do not…

Joel Osteen Releases Pop-Up Theology Book

https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteen-announces-pop-up-theology-book HOUSTON, TX—After much demand, Pastor Joel Osteen has released a systematic theology, but it’s just…

Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt…

Press Narrowly Escapes White House Lawn After Trump Releases The Hounds

https://babylonbee.com/news/press-narrowly-escapes-white-house-grounds-after-trump-releases-the-hounds WASHINGTON, D.C.—The media members gathered on the White House lawn were feeling pretty uneasy as Trump…

New Ultrasound Technology Can Detect Up To 50 Genders

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-prenatal-ultrasound-detects-up-to-50-genders U.S.—Advanced new prenatal ultrasound technology can detect up to 50 genders. The technology will be…

Chicken Wings Now Classified As Vegan Since Chickens Don’t Need Them Anyway

https://babylonbee.com/news/chicken-wings-now-classified-as-vegan-since-chickens-dont-need-them-anyway CORVALLIS, OR—Vegan leader and chef Antonio Martha has announced that chicken wings are now vegan.…

In Genius Move, Trump Supports Impeachment, Forcing Democrats To Oppose

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-genius-move-trump-supports-impeachment-forcing-democrats-to-oppose-it WASHINGTON, D.C.—The impeachment hearings have been thrown into chaos after President Trump announced that he…

Joel Osteen Not Sure Who This ‘Jesus’ Fellow Is That Kanye Keeps Talking About

https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteens-congregation-wonder-who-this-jesus-guy-is-that-kanye-keeps-on-talking-about HOUSTON, TX—According to sources at Lakewood Church, Joel Osteen was confused as Kanye West mentioned…