Kanye Selects Joel Osteen As Running Mate

HOUSTON, TX—During a special live-streamed Lakewood Church service Sunday, Kanye West selected prosperity gospel preacher Joel…

Atheists Launch No Lives Matter Movement

A group of atheists, along with some agnostics, announced on Tuesday a new sociopolitical movement consistent…

Kanye West Seizes Opportunity To Be Most Rational, Coherent Presidential Candidate

Noticing a lack of rational, coherent, sane presidential candidates, Kanye West announced this weekend that he…

With Fireworks Canceled, Americans Celebrate By Firing Their Many, Many Guns In The Air

With fireworks displays around the country canceled due to COVID, millions of Americans have resorted to…

Sad: Democrat Leaders Struggling To Enforce Lockdowns After Getting Rid Of All The Police

Oh no! Democrat leaders sure are in a pickle. They are really trying to be tyrants…

Netflix Hires Racists And Pulls Any Episodes They Laugh At

LOS GATOS, CA—Netflix has hired three racist men to watch old TV shows so that the…

Controversial Video Shows Trump And Melania Brandishing Guns As Reporters Near White House

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A controversial video went viral Monday showing President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump brandishing…

Trump Defies Liberals By Chugging Entire Bottle Of Aunt Jemima Syrup

TULSA, OK—Liberals are trying to ruin America by destroying all our favorite corporate mascots, logos, and…

Trump Announces Attendance At Next Rally Will Be Mandatory

Trump has announced that attendance at his next rally will be mandatory, with everyone in the…

Trump Says His Civil War Will Be Even Better Than Lincoln’s

President Trump commented on Abraham Lincoln’s performance last week, saying his actions for the black community…