Approved ~~ MJM
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Colin Kaepernick arrived at the Minneapolis riots last night, saying he was excited to be a part of the looting and violence.
Kaepernick tried out for the riots by throwing bricks into windows but missed every time. He was able to rush a Molotov cocktail into a target window and then spike it on the ground, but then he caught fire. Finally, in a last-ditch effort to get selected for one of the riot squads, he filmed a workout video and sent it to various protester organizations but hadn’t heard back as of publishing time.
“While we appreciate Kaepernick’s enthusiasm, we need someone who can lob a Molotov cocktail accurately,” said a representative for the rioters. “We wish him the best of luck in his future rioting career….