U.S.—Pioneering smart thermostat company Matrimostat announced a brand-new thermostat that will automatically set the temperature to whatever your wife wants.
“The Matrimostat 2000 uses advanced quantum technology to identify your wife’s temperature preference before she even mentions it –often before she even knows it!” says CTO Ted Shmarmanarf. “It’s a lot more challenging than it sounds. Research showed that many women don’t know what they want until at least an hour after they wish it had already happened, so the thermostat had to be able to accommodate for that.”
“Now this is one smart thermostat.”
Shmarmanarf says that the solution involved patented scanners that measure not only the temperature of the house, but also the behaviors and mood of the female spouse. The scanner identifies whether the matriarch has recently wrapped herself in a blanket, put on a jacket, or made herself some hot tea, and uses an advanced algorithm to incorporate those behaviors into its temperature adjustments.