Why Can’t We Return To How Peaceful The World Was Before Guns?

Guns are a plague on mankind. They are the source of all violence in our modern…

California Converts Carpool Lanes Into Rioters’ Lanes

SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom announced Executive Order #14,203 today, converting all carpool lanes in the state…

Comic-Con Provides Virtual Attendees With Device That Emits B.O. Scent For More Authentic Experience

SAN DIEGO, CA—San Diego Comic-Con won’t be happening in person this year, but you can attend…

New Stimulus Will Just Be Postcards With Positive Affirmations

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Senate Republicans will soon unveil their new stimulus package to help Americans through the shutdown…

AOC Pulls An All-Nighter Studying For Covid Test

THE BRONX, NY—Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was up all night last night studying for her Covid-19…

Biden Forced To Wear Ankle Monitor To Make Sure He Doesn’t Escape Basement

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Biden campaign has forced its candidate to wear an ankle monitor to make sure…

10 Safety Tips For Going Back To Church

Well, folks, unless you live in Communist countries like China or California, you can probably go…

Nick Cannon Quits ‘Masked Singer’: ‘I Need To See A Person’s Skin Color Before I Pass Judgment’

U.S.—Nick Cannon has stepped down from his position as host of The Masked Singer, saying he doesn’t…

Complete Moron Doesn’t Realize Social Justice Activists Changed The Definition Of Every Word Last Week

BILOXI, MS—Really smart experts everywhere are pulling their hair out with frustration due to thousands of…

Kanye West Drops Out Of Race After Elon Musk Offers Him Position As President Of Mars

LOS ANGELES, CA—Kanye West has dropped out of the presidential race, several sources confirmed today, after…