R&I – FS
“What does this mean?” said die-hard Trump fan Gabby McSmitty. “Is it over? Is Trump going to ‘release the Kraken?’ The suspense is killing me!”
Currently, the listing on the site says “Everything must go!” and hats are being sold at the bargain price of 5 for $20.
“We can only conclude that Trump is making room in his warehouse for his ‘Victory 2020’ hats or something,” said McSmitty. “It’s either that or some sort of top-secret message from ‘Q’ I have to decipher.”
Trump responded to the widespread concerns on Twitter, saying “DON’T WORRY! Just getting BIGGER, more BEAUTIFUL hats. Fraud will SOON BE EXPOSED!!! I WON!!!!”
“That’s good enough for me,” said McSmitty before clicking “purchase” on her order of 100 hats.