Rudy Giuliani and the only four other lawyers in the country clownstupid enough to represent Donald Trump at this point did another press conference, y’all. It was very important, obviously, because they have one million secret evidences of voter fraud, and nine gabillion secret affidavits from people who swear they saw Goody Biden steal Trump votes, and they would show them to you, except for how if they show you, then they won’t be a secret anymore do you even know how secrets work, STUPIDHEAD?
We have zero time or bandwidth to engage with the particulars of this clownshow, because if we’re going to dive deep into something that doesn’t matter, it’s going to be a time-waster we care about. Also Rudy Giuliani’s track record with “law” is not great; if Mike Flynn’s redneck lawyer Sidney Powell doesn’t huff paint, she needs to see a neurologist; Victoria Toensing and Joe DiGenova are the same Fox News hairballs Donald Trump deemed too ugly and stinky to represent him a couple years ago, in perhaps his only correct decision as president; and Jenna Ellis — what can one say of Jenna Ellis’s brain that hasn’t been said of any tattered windsock after a hurricane?
Point is, the second a real lawyer says one of these chucklefucks has a point, or if they — ELL-OH-ELL — win a case or something, we’ll listen. Until then, let’s point and laugh.
Oh, by the way, you will note that this press conference was held at the Republican National Committee. We are left to assume Four Seasons Total Landscaping was booked.