Despite being caught red-handed and on-camera banging on the counter, the sofa and in the shower, Shaggy has accused Antifa of cheating on his girlfriend.
The popular noughties singer, who was clearly witnessed banging on the bathroom floor, said that initial reports that it was him had been questioned by multiple sources and it is much more likely that the perpetrator was hard-left infiltrators.
Despite having clear marks on his shoulder and saying words to the other woman which were overheard, the singer has brazenly denied any wrongdoing and instead accused a cohort of Joe Biden and Black Lives Matters supporters who had somehow got into his home just before his girlfriend arrived.
However, witnesses were unmoved, saying they never took their eyes off him as he pounded away butt naked.
“A lot of people are saying it might not have been Shaggy”, said Conservative commenters on Twitter. “You have to at least consider the possibility that he was not to blame, and instead a fifth-column of socialists dressed up to look exactly like him and cheated with the girl next door to make him look bad.”
“And even if it was him, what about all the bad things other people have done? Why does nobody ever report that instead of talking about what Shaggy might or might not have done?”
“You should keep an open mind about who it was.”
