A man has today insisted that Mermaids can not be black because they live in the…
Tag: NewsThump
Goodbye
Few things in life are constants; there in the background, always, your entire life, creating a…
“It’s just a few highly-classified documents” insists Republican Party that lost its collective shit over a few emails
The Republican Party has this week called into question the legitimacy of a criminal investigation into…
There is nothing incriminating in the Mar-o-Lago documents but the courts should still force the FBI to stop looking immediately, insists Trump
Donald Trump has launched a legal campaign to force the FBI to stop looking at the…
We were forced to attack people carrying a coffin because they were clearly about to use it as a projectile, insists Israel
Israel has defended its security service members who attacked pallbearers carrying the coffin of Palestinian American…
Finland has more than enough tractors to defeat a Russian tank invasion, confirms NATO
NATO are set to allow Finland to join their alliance, after calculating that they probably wouldn’t…
Woke, Woke, Woke, Snowflake, Cancel Culture, Woke, says Piers Morgan
“Woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, snowflake, woke, woke,…
Vladimir Putin introduces new Russian army uniforms
As Russia expands military conscription in an attempt to regain the initiative in Ukraine, the army…
Russian flagship Moskva on patriotic new mission to investigate sea bed, insists Kremlin
The recently hydrated Russian warship “Moskva” has been redeployed to carry out scientific investigations at the…
Asteroid survives near miss with moron-infested planet
Asteroid 2022 GN1 has dramatically survived a near-miss with ‘Earth’, a planet well-known for carrying dangerously high…