In a purported effort to stop the rise of woke, leftist Critical Race Theory in the classroom, a local school district issued a decision Thursday censoring all of The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain except for its copious use of the n-word. “This move will allow educators to focus on the key elements of an American classic without fear of trafficking in the novel’s harmful themes of compassion and racial equality,” said superintendent James Appelbaum, telling reporters that the school board had voted unanimously to excise the book’s “dangerous lies” about the cruelties of slavery and that a journey of self-discovery on the margins of society could lay bare the immorality and hypocrisy of white institutions. “We’ve heard stories about caucasian students that are ashamed of their own whiteness, or think of themselves as inherently inferior to students of color, and we’re hopeful that reading a racial slur dozens and dozens of times over again will help fix this pernicious misconception.” Appelbaum added that the school board would next be considering a proposal to remove all of To Kill A Mockingbird except the section where the wrongfully-convicted Black man Tom Robinson is shot to death trying to escape prison.
