U.S.—Across the country, newsrooms are frantically working on exciting new stories to boot up a brand new news cycle and make the country forget about the Waukesha terrorist attack last week.
“Some people did something, and then an SUV took a wrong turn, or something like that, I can’t remember,” said a producer at CNN. “Whatever. It’s just a small local news story. We need to move on to the deadly Omicron Variant. OMG! THE OMICRON VARIANT! WE’RE GONNA DIEEEEEE!”
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