Noting how weird she’d been ever since the state of Ohio had required her to carry a child to term, local 5th graders told reporters Thursday that their friend Hannah who was forced to give birth only wanted to talk about baby stuff now. “It’s not like we don’t love her, but ever since she got pregnant and had to have a baby, all she cares about is gross stuff like diapers, spit up, and milk,” said 10-year-old Kayla Sanders, adding that Hannah, who used to go with them to the mall, have sleepovers, and watch movies, never wanted to do anything other than stay home and take care of her 2-week-old infant daughter. “She’s still my bestie and all, but she barely ever even comes to school anymore, and when she does, she just kind of falls asleep. Plus she will not shut up about breastfeeding and stuff. It’s like, ew. Gross. Are you trying to make us all puke?” At press time, Sanders said she also said her friend Hannah had been super weird ever since her stepdad got arrested a few months ago and went to jail.
