In a move that has sent shockwaves through Capitol Hill, Republican Congressman George Santos has been expelled from the House of Representatives for lying, in what his Republican peers are calling ‘a dangerous precedent for right-wing politics in America’.
The congressman, known for claiming achievements such inventing zero-emission coal and negotiating peace treaties between Israel and Palestine, was ousted after it was discovered that his most significant achievement was the high-quality editing done on his entirely fabricated CV.
“Today is a terribly sad day for American politics,” lamented one GOP representative.
“If we start holding our elected official accountable for every little lie they tell, then who knows what could happen? It would be the end of our party as we know it.”
The expulsion, which came after a 311-114 vote, has left many Republicans fearing for their political careers.
“This sets an incredibly dangerous standard,” said a senior GOP senator Chuck Williams, nervously adjusting his ‘World’s Best Senator’ mug, a self-awarded honor.
“Honesty, integrity, facts — these are all part of the slippery slope that leads directly to a woke liberal democracy. It’s a truly horrifying thought.”
Democrats have expressed surprise at the decision, with one freshman congresswoman asking, “Wait, we can actually expel people for telling lies now? Does… does everyone know about this?”
Meanwhile, GOP leaders are reportedly scrambling to establish a ‘Post-Truth Caucus’ aimed at preserving the time-honoured tradition of political fabrication. The caucus’ first motion, titled ‘The Earth is Flat and Dinosaurs Helped Build the Pyramids Act,’ is already gaining traction among members.
Donald Trump took to TruthSocial to insist he was unconcerned by the expulsion, calling the move ‘fake news’ before insisting that George Santos is still actually congressman because the vote was rigged.
Meanwhile, Santos himself was last seen updating his LinkedIn profile, adding ‘Professional Martyr’ to his list of skills, right above ‘Nobel Peace Prize Laureate’ and ‘Dragon Slayer’.
