Alpha males line up to avoid a fight
Amid a failing effort to garner support from elected representatives of the one-time beacon and protector of freedom, the United States of America, dejected Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky departed the capital with a final wish to those who would abandon his country in its hour of need, “May you live forever.”
“We intend to do just that,” remarked a group of senators and representatives at a press conference at the top of the Capitol steps.
“If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s politicizing things at the cost of our country’s values, general decency, millions of innocent lives abroad, and a stable, prosperous world order in which Russia is diminished by dint of its own savagery so that we can score political points and expand our own power,” said Senator J.D. Vance to the emphatic nods of Senator Tom Cotton and Speaker of the House Mike Johnson.
Congressional leaders have refused to budge in negotiations with the Biden administration on delivering more critical aid to Ukraine in its heroic underdog effort against Vladimir Putin’s loathsome, international norm-destroying onslaught, apparently favoring an outcome where the Russian dictator’s genocidal assault on a sovereign democracy goes unchecked and unpunished.
While the group of self-serving civil servants is certainly aware that they all will live long, affluent lives, they are equally and enthusiastically apathetic about the staggering numbers of kidnapped and resettled Ukrainian children, slain Ukrainian civilians, and young people who put their promising lives on hold to go and die on the front.
“This is about American values,” leaders at the press conference noted. “In this country, we don’t stop a bully from having his way with whoever is near him – we get out of his way. That’s the cornerstone of our freedom.”
“We’re close students of history, and we see no reason why appeasing despotic strongmen so we can stick it to our domestic political adversaries and fellow citizens is not a good idea,” the group added.
Americans, once firm in their ‘stand with Ukraine’ bumper stickers’ positions on their cars, have begun to waver in their support for the fledgling democracy fighting for its own survival – and arguably that of the free world at large.
“It has taken Ukraine too long to win this war,” said one citizen of the country that has not won a war since 1945, adding, “My representative and my favorite cable news pundit are telling me that, despite low unemployment, a labor shortage across major industries, and recruiting shortfalls in our all-volunteer force, we should focus on restricting immigration into the country and tell Ukraine to go fuck itself. Moreover, I’m told by some that Ukraine isn’t even a real country. It’s hard to argue with that air-tight and high-integrity logic.”
Zelensky’s words appeared not to impact the group of men and women trusted with upholding America’s vital standing in the world as they have all been completely devoid of anything resembling a soul for some time.
